FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DESK - AN EMPLOYER REVEALS THE SECRETS
I have processed about five thousand job applicants in
the last two years (that's about 7 per day) and I gotta
tell you this - most of them stink !
Not literally of course - but when it comes to methods of
stupidly & unnecessarily blowing a "no-brainer"
interview process to get selected for a "no-brainer" job,
then my cleaning agency has just about seen them all !
DO YOU QUALIFY '
I really didn't think we were asking too much. Applicants
needed to be able to do housework. They needed a car & a
license to drive it. They needed to read, write & speak
English. Okay, they also needed a resume, but it didn't
have to be full of spectacular cleaning-related careers -
any kind of checkable work history was fine.
Likewise, the application procedure was also (we
believed) not too demanding. The applicant telephones us.
We have a chat to them about the job requirements and ask
them if they fit the above qualifications. We ask them to
make copies of their resume & references and then we
schedule them for an interview in about 3 - 6 days. We
interview them for about 40 minutes (though about 30
minutes of that is us doing the talking - a fierce
interrogation it ain't). Within a day or two we start
giving them cleaning jobs. Fairly simple, we thought.
Unfortunately for my agency's collective sanity, most of
the job applicant population saw it differently.
To start with the most basic of errors we encountered,
quite a number of people making the initial phone call
didn't have a driver's licence, despite our job
advertisements clearly stating this requirement. Or if
they did have a licence, they didn't have a car. Or if
they did have a car, it wasn't actually theirs and they
have to share it with several other people. Or if they
did actually own the car, it was broken down & was
undergoing lengthy and extensive repairs.
Still, this major obstacle was attacked with
determination by almost all car-less applicants. It
usually went something along the lines of "But my husband
can drive me" or "I can take public transport" or "I can
ride my bicycle".
What a revelation ! Now why didn't WE think of that '
These applicants are sitting there thinking "This
employer has only paid out good money to insert 'CAR &
LICENSE ESSENTIAL' in huge letters in the job
advertisement because I was not around at the time to
point out other possibilities"
Hint for jobseekers (1) - If a job advertisement
specifies a requirement, and you do not have that
requirement, DON'T bother applying for that job, EVEN IF
you think you have an alternative that the employer
hasn't thought of yet. It's a bit like a prospective
surgeon saying that he's hopeless with a scalpel, but is
VERY handy with a butter-knife.
****
DON'T INTERRUPT
Still at the initial phone-call stage, another
fundamental error is not allowing the employer to do his
spiel. You are not the only person ringing up about the
position. You are more likely to be the 75th person, so
please assume that the employer has his routine all
worked out. He does NOT need prompting to fill you in on
all the details - he knows what you need to know and he
will tell you in his own good time.
The correct time to ask questions is when he finishes
explaining what the job is about & what the application
procedure is and when he finishes asking YOU questions.
Hint for jobseekers (2) - Let the employer talk. Do not
interrupt. Taking over a conversation and putting your
potential boss on the back foot is not going make a good
impression.
****
DON'T GET LOST
Okay, so about 25% of people make it through the
gruelling 2 minute phone interview and are then scheduled
for a "real" interview.
To deal with the simplest situation first, approximately
50% to 80% of these applicants do not show up at the
appointed time and are never heard from again. While it's
annoying, and as employer I never really get used to the
fact that people go to a lot of trouble to apply for jobs
they don't actually want, at least that person is out of
the way and we can concentrate instead on the serious
people.
But it's not that simple. There are a number of
variations on the "not showing up" trick that conspire to
further annoy & waste the valuable time of the
prospective employer.
For example, those people who have had 5 days notice of
the interview, but neglect to look up the actual location
of the interview until they are hopelessly lost in a
neighboring suburb with only 2 minutes to go. They ring
up from a phone box asking for directions. They
invariably arrive at the interview flustered & late.
Hint for jobseekers (3) - Make sure you know exactly
where the interview is being held. If you don't know, do
a practise run the day before.
****
DON'T BE LATE
Even worse than the people who get lost (who at least
deserve a tiny amount of sympathy) are those who turn up
20 - 40 minutes late for no apparent good reason.
"Oh hi, I'm here for the interview"
"Which interview, the 3 o'clock or the 4 o'clock '"
"The 3 o'clock. I'm a bit late"
This type of applicant doesn't see a problem with being
late, probably because it's not a problem for THEM.
However an applicant needs to understand that businesses
are constantly running to deadlines, and punctuality is
vital. If we sit around waiting for a late applicant and
start an interview later than planned, it means the NEXT
interview is going to be delayed and, more importantly,
whatever I had planned for AFTER the interviews is going
to be delayed, and possibly even postponed until the next
day.
Hint for jobseekers (4). Time is money. Don't be late for
an interview. No matter how dazzling you may be in the
interview, the main thing the employer will remember the
next day is that you were late, and therefore probably
unreliable.
****
ONLY APPLY ONCE
Then there are what we term the "serial-applicants".
These people are constantly applying for jobs over an
extended period of time, to the extent that they actually
apply to us more than once, perhaps several months apart.
Here at the agency, we sometimes collectively shake our
heads at the nerve of these people who fail to show up
for a scheduled interview, and then a couple of months
later apply again, expecting us to welcome them with open
arms.
Hint for jobseekers (5) - If you apply for a job and
don't get it, don't apply for exactly the same job later
on. They don't want you.
****
DON'T BRING THE FAMILY
So let's suppose an applicant makes it through the
complicated business of turning up on time.
Question - What else could go wrong or annoy the employer
before the interview actually begins '
Answer - A couple of things that happen more often than
you might expect. Applicants turning up with one or more
relatives expecting to also participate in the interview
are a classic.
Hint for jobseekers (6) - If you are not brave enough to
face an interview by yourself, employers will not respect
you. The WORST thing to do is bring your mother. This
basically proves that you should be back in school.
****
IF YOU ARE A SPECIAL CASE, SAY SOMETHING
One other thing on a rather more touchy subject are the
problems associated with scheduling Islamic ladies for
interviews. Arriving fully-masked except for their eyes,
their religion does not permit them to be alone in a room
with a man. But of course they only tell me this AFTER
THEY ARRIVE. So if my (female) business partner is not
available at short-notice to take over the interview,
then we have no choice but to send the lady home. Her
time is wasted and so is ours.
And it's not quite as simple as just asking someone on
the phone what religion they are. There are different
degrees of Islam, and many such ladies do not have a
problem with showing their face or being alone in a room
with someone who happens to be a man.
Of course, there's also the legal aspect. Businesses
these days must be VERY careful about exposing themselves
to the threat of court action from an irate applicant. If
we ......
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